Under Pressure: The Cost of the Dream

I spent 30 years as a wedding DJ. Throughout that time, out of 2,000 weddings, only three canceled at the last minute, and four others were called off on the morning of the ceremony—or even during setup at the venue for the reception. In every case, infidelity or cold feet were the driving factors. It’s heartbreaking and incredibly awkward for the betrayed partner and their families.

As a REALTOR, I’ve also seen relationships unravel during the home buying process. I once had a couple break up in my car while touring homes, fighting the entire way back—they never truly agreed on what they wanted. She disliked what he liked, and vice versa.

Another time, I witnessed a heated argument over infidelity by a buyer couple while in someone’s home, which ended with me taking their 6-year-old son outside while they fought inside a stranger’s residence. We sat on the front lawn talking as they argued in the living room. The drive back in silence afterward was deafening—I kept the radio on and stared straight ahead.

I’ve also seen buyers that were purchasing some of my listings implode, marriages end, and couples break apart under the strain of the home-buying process.

As a 30-year DJ and a 26-plus-year REALTOR, I can attest that planning a wedding and buying a home are among the most challenging experiences couples face. I’d even say they’re about 50% of the hardest things you’ll go through as a couple. The other two, in my view, are having children and destructive vices.

Both wedding planning and purchasing a home require communication, compromise, and a shared goal of happiness—over insisting on getting everything your way or needing to be right all the time. They’re journeys that test couples financially, emotionally, and it tests their resilience. 

The Path Forward To The American Dream

The struggles and heartbreaks I’ve witnessed highlight one thing clearly: no matter how difficult the journey, the key to navigating these challenges is rooted in communication and mutual understanding. Whether planning a wedding or buying a home, couples who prioritize honesty, patience, and a willingness to compromise tend to emerge stronger—often with deeper respect and connection. Recognizing that setbacks and disagreements are natural parts of the process can help couples approach them with empathy rather than blame. Ultimately, it’s about reminding each other why you’re in this together and focusing on the shared dream of building a future—one built on trust, compromise, and love. When couples approach these milestones with open hearts and a team mentality, they not only weather the storms but come out on the other side more united than ever.